Fear of Having a Baby

Fear of having a baby is called Tokophobia, and one in six women suffer from it.

Sufferers of Tokophobia are split into two groups, and quite often starts with feelings of anxiety and terror due to early and ongoing programming concerning horrors of labour, negative anticipation created through media drama, stories of earlier births, films showing labour to be comic or very dangerous, or having had a bad experience the first time round, the more you think about it the worse the feeling of terror becomes. If you can learn to let go of the fear, use breathing and relaxation techniques, the uterus can do its work easily and comfortably, as it is meant to do, in a normal birth.

When the mother approaches labour with unresolved fear and dread, her body is already on the defensive, and the stressor hormone, catecholamine is triggered. Her body then goes into the fight or freeze response, the uterus tenses and everything slows down.

We use the uterus to birth, it's a muscle working hard, that's what its there for. The muscle needs oxygen and blood supply to work smoothly. When we become frightened, blood is directed away from the uterus, to the parts of the body involved in defence. This causes the arteries going to the uterus to tense, restricting the flow of blood and oxygen, which are vital to the functioning of the uterus. When the muscles in the uterus work against each other it causes considerable pain for the labouring mother, and her anxiety becomes worse. the uterus becomes tired, maybe we shake, and tense, and babies get tired.

So how do we overcome this?- by profound relaxation. It sounds too easy to be true doesn't it, but it is, it's really very simple.

When the labouring mother is in a comfortable state of relaxation (not in hypnosis) the two sets of muscles work in harmony as they were meant to, and birthing occurs smoothly and easily in a normal birth.

The mother is taught that birth is natural and healthy, it is not a medical event, its about mothers and fathers and babies, and respect for their rights and wishes to bring their babies into the world in a gentle and calm way.

I was taught HypnoBirthing® by Marie Mongan, M.Ed., M.Hy. She is the founder of HypnoBirthing® which was developed in the United States in 1989 and is based on the work of English obstetrician, Dr. Grantly Dick-Read, the father of Natural Childbirth, it really is a wonderful programme.

It's as much as philosophy as it is a technique. It is a rewarding, relaxing, stress-free method of birthing that is based on the belief that when a mother is properly prepared for birthing physically, mentally and spiritually, she can experience the joy of birthing her baby in an easier, more comfortable, and often even pain free, manner. It returns to women the art of birthing in a way that allows her to summon her natural birthing instincts. Its based on the belief that severe discomfort does not need to be a natural accompaniment of labour.

If the mother has a very bad phobia about fear of falling pregnant, she will probably need to address the problem before taking the HypnoBirthing programme, or any Childbirth course, if she seeks the help of a good hypnotherapist who is also interested in HypnoBirthing or Natural birthing. She should overcome it. It is very gentle and relaxing.

It offers Education for Childbirth with simple but specific techniques to help the mother eliminate the fear and tension that causes pain . This helps the mother to be more in control of the birthing process and to let go of a lot of the tension, allowing the uterus to work as it was supposed to do. The sleep breathing and the slow breathing techniques taught are the centrepiece of the HypnoBirthing programme, another effective tool for dealing with tension, stress and discomfort is your own conditioned ability to slip into relaxation quickly, this will help your uterus relax and get on with its work. The aim is for you and your baby to have the safest most comfortable birth as possible. It is a wonderful programme and now used all over the world.

Letter from a client:

I suffer from Tokophobia, a condition that took over my life for a long time.  Tokophobia is a fear of being pregnant and childbirth.  I have always wanted a baby and 6 years ago I found out I was pregnant. Instead of feeling so happy as I'd expected, I felt this rush of fear, dread and uncertainty come over me.

Suddenly something took over my body and mind and I convinced myself that I could not have the baby, I was terrified, became severly depressed and ill and had no other option but to have a termination.  Initially I felt relieved this nightmare was over, then my normal feelings came back to me of wanting a baby, guilt for what I'd done, I felt a failure and entered into another nightmare.

After this I feared being pregnant even though I wanted to have a baby so much.  I didn't know why I felt like this, nothing made sense.  A year later I found out I was pregnant again, again the same feelings came over me and I knew I could not go through with it so I had another termination.  I felt even worse again after, I couldn't understand how I could want a baby so much but when I got pregnant everything changed and something took over my mind. 

I saw a phycologist for a year, this helped me to understand what had happened, that it wasn't my fault, its an illness/phobia.  I never believed I could overcome this, I resigned to the fact I'd never be a mum,  i'd have a panic attack at the thought of being pregnant. 

Then last year after being around my new neice I yearned for my own baby and decided I had to try.  I became pregnant and initially the first week I felt happy then suddenly those awful feelings came over me again.  This time it felt 10 times worse.  I couldn't eat, sleep, get dressed, function, communicate - I just wanted to curl up and die.  I decided to see a hypnotherapist as a last ditch attempt before I did something drastic.  Lyta my hypnotherapist saw me weekly, she helped reprogramme my mind into believing I could see a pregnancy through and have that wonderful gift at the end of it all. 

Suddenly I started to feel a bit positive and week by week I got better and better.  There was a complete turn around which felt like a miracle and now I am 36 weeks pregnant, I feel positive, relaxed and am looking forward to meeting my baby.  I am also doing hypnobirthing with Lyta, I am not scared about the birth I just feel I can go into my labour feeling relaxed, not panicking and enjoy the experience instead of being fearful of it. Without Lyta I would not have got through this!"

For more information and help on fear of having a baby:

Call Lyta Humphris on Plymouth 01752 788321 or e-mail lhumphris@aol.com for an appointment now.

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